2006-09-15
Everything is Illuminated
1. I used to do ballet.
This is true. I took ballet lessons when I was four, and stopped somewhere between five and six, because the ballet teacher Ms Horn (I suppose it was Hon, but in my memory, she'll always be Ms Horn, the scary looking woman) scared the hell out of me. I wish I didn't give it up, because I sure would like to be a ballerina now.
2. When I was little, my parents suspected I couldn't draw.
Also true. My mother used to help me with my Civics and Moral Ed (or hao3 gong1 ming2, as we fondly refer) drawings when I was in lower primary. When I topped Art&Craft in the subsequent years, and made it through the AEP selection tests, my mother screamed bloody miracle. For the record, she can't draw for nuts.
3.I have topped my class in mathematics.
I am extremely disappointed (although undeservedly, given my reputation) that so many picked it out IMMEDIATELY as a potentially false statement. It is, however, TRUE. Hahahaha. Primary One (I didn't say which class (:). I still have the prize my math teacher gave me (a small bottle of glue packaged like a bowling pin).
4. I crush compulsively. In fact, this year alone, I've been attracted to three guys.
As much as my infidelity embarrasses me, I have to admit that this is true. I do, however, recognize the superficiality of my infatuations. And no, I'm NOT naming them.
5. I dislike being a debater.
Sorry guys (team), but this is TRUE. Sure, I enjoy debating - the seeing-both-sides-of-the-coin, the helping-society-progress blah blah, and more importantly, its esoteric nature (hehe), but I can't say I like being a Debater. It's brought out the worst in me - the competitiveness, the critical nature, the aggressiveness, the bitchiness. I can't say that these traits aren't inherent - they probably are, but Debate seems to be where they manifest themselves the most. I am thoroughly ashamed of the debater in me, and I'm trying very hard to be a Nice Debater (on top of being a Nice Person).I do, though, love all you people in debates. Just not debaters.
6. My favourite colour is pink.
Most of you guessed right, it isn't. So this statement is FALSE. It isn't, however, because I havent, charitably rephrased, sunk so low as to crown pink my favourite colour. I do like pink, only, I like every other colour too.
7. I have a crush on a classmate (06S60).
He's hot, he's smart, he's nice, and he DOESN'T EXIST IN CLASS! This statement is FALSE. Gotcha, Geordie/Gaby. :P Of course, having said that, we all know that Sixoh Guys are the Best Guys In the World. I just wanted to spice things up a little for the class. Heh.
8. One of my favourite/closest friends (confidante), I have never met. Our relationship is entirely virtual (msn).
This is true. Most people who find out chide me on the stupidity of forming close online relationships, but I don't really care. I think he should be more worried than I ought to be; I eat people. Haha - there you go, fav.
9. I play three musical instruments.
Of course, I'll play fair - the recorder doesn't count. I do NOT play three instruments. I play only the piano, and left the guitar behind a number of years ago. This statement, is FALSE.
10. I've had lesbian inclinations.
Jq nearly imploded with surprise when I told him this was TRUE. I am not a lesbian though, and have never been one (and I don't think I'll ever be. Sorry, Seng.). Sometime in preteenhood, I just had to wonder what lesbianism was like, and even I was surprised at how easily it could come.
11. I've lied about my age to get a free alcoholic drink.
Including Mr I-can-conceive-of-all-evil Yarn thinks I haven't. Gotcha people, Charm-the-Good-and-Shining (as Colin likes to gesticulate) does believe in Jesus Juice (just in MODERATION). I was at Soetheby's Art Auction Exhibition last year (age 16), and waiters in horribly cute penguin suits flocked around serving wine and other serious gourmet. One of them (a rather cute one, I must say) offered me a glass, asking if I were old enough, and I had to say yes, for the fun of it. I didn't finish the glass (guilt caught up with me first).
12. I had to attend special courses when I was young, to hone my psychomotor skills.
This is true. I had to learn how to use my arms and legs simultaneously. No one picked this. I wonder why :P
13. I shoplifted once, stealing a small blue sharperner from the bookstore..
I cannot believe while almost everyone thinks I wouldn't lie about my age to cross the alcohol barrier, hardly anyone suspects this statement. I don't steal. Period. This statement is FALSE.
14. I locked myself in a public toilet cubicle once by accident, and couldn't get out. For a darned long time.
Contrary to popular belief, this IS possible. I got out after about half an hour (?), after kicking the door really hard in frustration - the bolt jolted and I found it (yes, I was stuck because I couldn't figure out how the lock worked).
15. When I am extravagant, I do it because I like to be able to feel and understand the indulgences of material wealth. In other words, I am extravagant on purpose.
This is true. I am pretty much aware of most of the things I do (except when walking into things, tripping over my feet and bumping into people). I like to experience, well, experiences.
16. The only reason why I make a big deal out of gentlemanliness and chivalry is because I like to watch the people in such conversations. In reality, gentlemanliness/chivalry makes me feel very self-conscious.
This is true. Even while melting, I can't help but feel extremely self-conscious when guys offer to draw chairs for me, make an effort to open doors, carry my stuff, or pay for drinks/meals (okay, I don't melt when people offer to pay. I just feel really, really bad) etc. The guys I'm most comfortable around, don't give a damn. And even while I tease them relentlessly about it (Jack, Fish and Yarn will testify), I do actually like the kind of comfortable-ness it brings. You know, like "screw social ettiquette, we like each other well enough already." So yes, Jackfish Yarn, the truth. (:
Of course, DON'T take this as an excuse to start slamming doors in my face. Ahem.
17. I did Wushu in primary school.
I know, I can't believe it myself. But it's true! I still have my belt. It says "shao4 lin2".
18. I was sometimes dressed up as a boy when I was little, because my relatives bought too many boy-clothing, thinking I was male.
While most don't believe this, this is TRUE! My Da Ee bought one too many boy clothes, and coupled with those passed down from the next oldest cousin (the only older male cousin I have), I had too many pieces of boy clothing to ignore, so my parents took advantage of the Androgynous movement, and dressed me in boys' clothes sometimes. Of course, they never pretended I wasn't a daughter, and I don't think I looked THAT much like a boy. Of course, soon after my birth, my Da Ee rectified her mistake. I spent the rest of my childhood with LOTS of girl-clothes from her. (She's a seamstress).
19. My nickname in infancy and toddler-hood is Tweety Bird, because I had a huge head, too little hair, and a perpetual pout.
The photograph of me posing exactly like a Tweety Bird puppet I have (in infancy) is legendary, throughout the whole family, both Han and Tan (maternal). My relatives never fail to remind me of how much I looked (and look still, some claim) like Tweety. Tweet.
20. My favourite animal is the Siberian white tiger.
This final statement is FALSE. I never did quite decide which animal was my favourite - I like them all! - but I do have a particular interest in big cats.
So there! All my dirty little secrets. Most of you failed. Hahaha.
nothing ever happens at 7:19 p.m.