2007-02-09
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Ohkay. Dear readers, this is going to be yet another angsty post. I'm sorry.
It's exactly midnight (as I type this sentence), and I'm home from Dramafeste opening night. Dramafeste, where I've met some wonderful people, gotten closer to other wonderful people, and rediscovered how wonderful the already close ones are. And I'm wondering if I really should talk about why I'm feeling so crappy - words have a strange way of making things real.
Is it better to keep it all inside, squish it, before it becomes real and monstrous? Or is it better to let it out, before it grows big and monstrous?
I never could quite decide.
But I am, decidedly, upset tonight.
Upset that I cant be by his side - upset that his side is already filled, by another, by others.
I know now, why it's called "falling" in love. Because it happens when you least expect it, because you get hurt when it happens, and because it's always hard to pick yourself up again. (And I suspect I fell into a bottomless pit.)
This is so irritating.
Why should I be upset?
I'm not upset.
nothing ever happens at 12:00 a.m.