2007-03-14
In which Sixoh is made mortal.
Immortality is nameless
OUR JUNIOR CLASS IS BEING DISBANDED!It seems awfully presumptuous to be talking about this from an outsider's point of view - how could one even begin to describe what they must be feeling right now?
But there's nothing like looking from the outside that allows one to admire - to simply admire - what goes on inside. As Attachee, I always sort of kept an eye on the way things worked in 07S60, a passive watch, a bit like an old, frail and non-English speaking grandmother - a quiet and rather impotent guardian. Watched as they clustered together on the floor of the Right Wing every morning without fail. Like us (06), the random admninistration that brought all of them together seemed to be the binding factor, generating goodwill and friendliness. No loud, wild passions - just a warm marriage of unspoken comeraderie. A class, that's what 07 was.
I realize we refer to 07S60 as "our" junior class - could anybody ask for a more obvious claim of ownership? But in all the egocentricity, I think I've finally understood one more thing about what it means to be a class.
Slightly over a year ago, it was inconceiveable (to me) that Sixoh members from so long ago would actually sacrifice so much time, effort and even money to do things for us, all in the name of "SIXOH" - which at that time, seemed like an abstraction they took too far. ("yes, that's my class, but what's it gotta do with YOU?") They threw us Sixoh parties, birthday parties for individual members in OUR class, set up our class blog, played social glue, gave us a class diary, taught us Sixoh cheers and songs (which, I don't think anyone but Weixiang remembers).
And then they came back and did the same for our junior class.
The disbanding of 07S60 makes me feel like and adult who knows he/she cannot reproduce, or a man, who knows that his family name must stop with him. I never believed such knowledge would mean anything to me ( such things are but constructs!) but now that it has really happened, a little part of me wishes to differ.
Perhaps what everyone wants is a little bit of eternity - a little part of you that would continue to live even after you're gone.
Perhaps I wanted someone else to be able to smell the flowers along this path I've taken - just as travellers before me have anticipated my arrival. As I place my story alongside the weave of my predecessors, I can't help but want to make space for a successor - to have someone place his story alongside mine, to continue this patchwork until I become insignificant, until he becomes insignificant. Until all that's left is We.
We and Immortality.
But no one shall place his story next to 06S60 now. We have been made mortal. And today, we die.
nothing ever happens at 1:04 p.m.