2007-04-26
eighteen
In the mouths of some, the words 'Happy Birthday' have become like dirty strings trawled along the floor, hoping to grasp a little bit of courtesy as and when it arrives. Most of the time, there seems little meaning in the second word, and even less in the first. These people trouble me, because I don't know how to match their perfuctoriness.
Then there are others who shower you with gifts, songs and rowdy celebration, and I don't know how to accept them either. Why do people give you gifts on your anniversary of the day you arrived and started taking?
My seventeenth year has been a wet one - perhaps the wettest one yet. There are certain bits of me that I like a lot, and other bits I wish I could disown. I guess that makes me just like everyone else. (:
I feel 40 and 14 at the same time. 40 for the weariness and impersonal maturity for living, and 14 for the awkwardness, dreaminess and fragility for life. Chen says this typifies the 18 year old. Then I think I've been 18 since I was 14.nothing ever happens at 10:29 p.m.